Renowned Name: Chuck Norris. The Man of Jokes. The Myth. The Legend. This actor, writer, and martial artist began playing in the ‘70s, along with such actors as Dean Martin and Bruce Lee. In 1983, he came up in Lone McQuade and would later come back in his not-so-famous lead role in Walker, Texas Ranger.
Due to his vast corpus of films, Norris has made himself a legend. Fans have since the early 2000s created Norris jokes and fake facts. They vary between bragging about how he is so strong that even the dark fears him with his roundhouse kicks.
What I understand by a good Chuck Norris joke/fact is its exaggeration and crispness of the joke/fact. They are rather brief and direct, and they do not require any foundation in actual information about the actor. The complexity ensures every joke is re-collective and permanent.
Even though it had been years since his last appearance in a movie, the impact of Norris still prevails, being a long-running Internet gag. To pay tribute to an all-American badass, we present to you 72 Chuck Norris jokes and memorable facts.
Top 72 Jokes of Chuck Norris
Some common and famous jokes that become the reason for laughter by Chuck Norris are categorized as follows;
Roundhouse Kick Chronicles
Chuck Norris once delivered a roundhouse kick so powerful that his foot shattered the speed of light.
In the dawn of existence, there was nothing… then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to find a job.
Chuck Norris was featured in Street Fighter II, but was removed because every button triggered a roundhouse kick.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick-related deaths have surged by 13,000%.
Ask Chuck Norris the time, and he’ll say, “Two seconds till.” “Till what?” Roundhouse kick to the face.
Superhuman Strength & Skills
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
He can kill two stones with one bird.
He can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
He ties his shoes with his feet.
He can drown a fish.
Minute rice takes 30 seconds when Chuck Norris cooks it.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
He once shot down an aircraft by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open.
Ultimate Intelligence & Mind Power
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books — he stares them down until they give him the info.
In Scrabble, spelling “Chuck Norris” wins you the game. Forever.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Braille is one of the languages he speaks.
His handwriting makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need spell check — Oxford rewrites itself.
Absurd but Hilarious Logic
Chuck Norris’s calendar skips April Fool’s — no one jokes with Chuck Norris.
He won Connect Four in three moves.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman in the rain.
He plays violin… using a piano.
Onions cry when they see Chuck Norris.
He stared directly into the sun… and the sun looked away.
Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
Godlike & Mythical Power
“Let there be light!” said God. “Please,” said Chuck Norris.
God rested on the 7th day. Chuck Norris took over.
Death once had a near-Chuck experience.
Chuck Norris had a heart attack. His heart lost.
The periodic table doesn't include the element of surprise — Chuck Norris eliminated it.
The universe is expanding… trying to escape Chuck Norris.
Lethal Reputation
Pain is Chuck Norris’s main export.
The list of extinct species is actually Chuck Norris’s enemy list.
Chuck Norris doesn’t hunt. He kills.
The doctor cried when Chuck Norris was born. He slapped back.
Real cowboys? Just material for Chuck’s boots.
Biological Uniqueness
Chuck Norris breathes five times a day. That’s enough.
He drinks nails instead of coffee.
Life doesn’t flash before Chuck Norris’s eyes. It hides.
Napalm is his heartburn remedy.
Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried.
His belly button is a power outlet.
Chuck Norris has 72 chromosomes — all lethal.
Universe-Bending Abilities
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When he does push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.
He can start a fire… with an ice cube.
He skydived once. That’s why we have the Grand Canyon.
Chuck proved we’re alone in the universe. Before he went to space, we weren’t.
Chuck vs. The World
Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way… once.
Outer space exists… to stay far away from him.
Even the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
He doesn’t switch on lights. He switches off the dark.
The Great Wall of China wasn’t to keep invaders out — it was to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed.
Awesomeness Every Day
Chuck Norris never sleeps. He waits.
Behind his beard is no chin — just a second fist.
He doesn’t back up. He strikes back.
He once punched a man in the soul.
The quickest way to a man’s heart? Chuck Norris’s punch.
Only Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eye.
He doesn’t check the time. He tells it.
Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite. He bites frost.
Waldo is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Showers are for the weak. Chuck Norris bathes in blood.
Reality-Breaking Jokes
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin… and giraffes were born.
He can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris can lift a bucket while sitting inside it.
He once defeated a wall in tennis.
Chuck Norris speaks fluent Braille.
He can sneeze with his eyes open… and still hit the target.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1: What was Chuck Norris' famous joke?
Chuck Norris has shared many jokes for his audience but his famous qoute which ic liked by all is; “I've always observed that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way”.
2: Did Chuck Norris have a nickname?
Chuck Norris Nickname is Ground Norris.
3: Who defeated Chuck Norris?
Norris suffered the tenth and final loss of his career, losing an upset decision to Louis Delgado, in early 1968.
